When preparing for your home study, there are, of course, practical steps you can take—like childproofing your home, installing window screens, and ensuring you have a mounted fire extinguisher in your kitchen. But perhaps the most valuable preparation is internal: knowing yourself. Self-awareness is a key quality of any successful foster parent.
A New Resource for Families: NTDC
In early 2025, two staff members from Crossnore’s foster care team attended a “train the trainer” session for a new curriculum titled the National Training and Development Curriculum (NTDC). This program was created collaboratively by six child welfare agencies, experienced foster and adoptive families, young adults with lived experience in the child welfare system, and expert consultants.
One of the foundational elements of this curriculum is a pre-training self-assessment. Designed to help foster and adoptive applicants explore their own readiness, the self-assessment includes five core competencies and fourteen key characteristics.
These characteristics help families:
- Reflect on their parenting strengths and challenges,
- Set realistic expectations, and
- Understand how trauma, separation, and loss may impact a child—and how they can respond.
The 14 Characteristics
The NTDC self-assessment focuses on the following characteristics:
- Adaptability and Flexibility
- Appreciation for Diversity and Other Worldviews
- Attunement
- Belief in Self-Efficacy
- Commitment
- Emotionally Supportive and Nurturing
- Empathy and Compassion
- Having a Sense of Humor
- Realistic
- Relationally Oriented
- Resilience and Patience
- Self-Awareness and Self-Reflection
- Tolerance for Rejection
- Trustworthiness
While some traits, like being emotionally nurturing, might seem obvious, others—such as having a tolerance for rejection, a sense of humor, and a belief in self-efficacy—may not be as immediately considered but are equally vital.
How Do You Handle Rejection?
It’s not uncommon for children who have experienced trauma to struggle with forming attachments. They may resist affection or act out in ways that feel hurtful. As a foster parent, you may not always receive immediate appreciation or love. Instead, children may test boundaries or push you away—sometimes out of fear of being hurt again.
How do you handle that kind of rejection? Can you stay grounded in your role, even when it’s not reciprocated right away? Developing this emotional resilience is essential for creating a safe, stable environment for children healing from loss.
Can You Use Humor to Connect?
Humor is more powerful than it’s often given credit for. When used appropriately, it can defuse tension, lighten heavy moments, and build trust. Laughter can also be an emotional release, for both you and the child, and a chance to reset during difficult situations.
Having a sense of humor also means being able to laugh at your own mistakes. This models vulnerability and resilience and can help children feel more comfortable around you.
Are You Open to Growth?
Self-efficacy, your belief in your ability to parent effectively, is something that grows with time and experience. Parenting children who have experienced trauma may challenge your usual methods. That’s okay.
Ask yourself: What are three parenting skills you’d like to improve? Reach out to experienced foster or adoptive parents. Explore books, podcasts, or support groups. Keep learning. Stay curious. Most of all, believe in your capacity to grow.
Final Thoughts
While pre-licensure training will build your confidence and skills, beginning your journey with self-awareness gives you a head start. Whether you’re just considering fostering or already in the licensing process, take the time to reflect on your strengths and areas for growth.
Use the tools and resources available to you to better understand trauma, the foster care system, and your own capacity to meet the unique needs of children in care.
“Fostering and adopting is not a journey for everybody; however, for those who stay on this course, it can teach you how to love unconditionally and to truly value what is important in life.”
— Anonymous foster/adoptive parent
