Monday is the first day of National Adoption Month. We have written many blog posts related to adoption, including many families’ amazing stories. But today, we want to bust some myths related to adoption. Especially for those who may be on the fence about adding to their homes and families in this way.
Myth: Adoption is expensive.
Fact: While adoption costs can add up, the total price varies widely based on the type of adoption. Currently at Crossnore, all of our adoptions are through the foster care system. And the cost associated is little to nothing. Actually, most children who are adopted from the foster care system qualify for a monthly adoption assistance subsidy until they are 18 years old. And most qualify for Medicaid until they are 21. For more information and details on adoption assistance, click HERE.
Myth: Every waiting child has an equal chance of adoption.
Fact: Children five and under make up almost 50% of all adoptions from foster care. Once a child turns nine years old, their chance of adoption drops significantly each year. The average age of children entering care is a little shy of seven years old. And most children wait three to four years in care before adoption. Because of this, the opportunities for adoption significantly decrease for our older children. Two out of every five children who enter foster care after 12 years of age will age out of foster care without a safe forever family.
Myth: After adoption, you’re on your own.
Fact: While this may be the experience for families outside of Crossnore, we are committed to post-permanency assistance for our families. We are working hard to develop an in-depth, post-adoptive aftercare program. While some paperwork requirements and home visits may decrease, the support to your family won’t. Our adoption team will work with you and your family as you transition fully from a foster family to a permanent adoptive family.
Myth: Biological families can regain rights when they make improvements and take their biological children back.
Fact: Adoption is final. We definitely encourage adoptive families to allow their children ongoing contact with their healthy biological family members. However, it is not a legal requirement in North Carolina.
Myth: Every child is excited to be adopted
Fact: While we often celebrate adoption, adoptees are dealing with a bag of mixed emotions. They are struggling with the loss and grief that live simultaneously with joy. While many children are joyful when adopted, many struggle. Along with adoption comes rejection, loss, closed doors, and finality that are often hard to bear. It is often hard for children to hear that they are “lucky” to have been adopted. Likely, they don’t see their lives – or at least their early lives – as very lucky at all.
Myth: Adoptive children are broken beyond repair or healing.
Fact: We know that with time, resources, and people who care about them, all humans are capable of restoration and healing. As Shenandoah Chefalo shared in her May blog. ”The antidote is and remains resilience. Resilience is a learned skill that is brought forth in the ways in which we are connected to each other.”