When you think of adoption, what comes to mind? 

For many, it’s the picture of a teeny tiny, swaddled newborn. While the desire to adopt an infant is wonderful and valid, at Crossnore Communities for Children, we see a different, urgent reality. The call for loving, permanent homes is loudest not for infants, but instead: sibling groups and older children in foster care.

They are the ones who wait the longest, whose stories are often overlooked in the initial search for an adoptive family. If you’ve considered opening your heart and home through adoption, here is why your commitment can make the most profound difference in the lives of these incredible kids.

Keeping Siblings Together 

Sibling bonds are often the longest-lasting relationships a child will have. For children who have experienced the trauma of being removed from their home, their brothers and sisters are not just their playmates; they are their shared history, comfort, and the only constant in a world of change.

Minimizing Trauma: Separating a sibling group is a secondary trauma that can intensify the original pain of removal. Keeping them together provides a familiar, supportive unit during a painful time.

Built-in Support System: Siblings lean on each other for emotional support, especially when transitioning to a new home. They have a witness to their past and a shared hope for the future.

Better Outcomes: Research continues to show that children who are adopted with their siblings often have higher rates of stability and better long-term outcomes.

The challenge? Finding a family with the space, resources, and heart big enough for three, four, or even more children. That’s where and why the need is critical.

Understanding Older Kiddos

Children aged 7 and up are the most likely to “age out” of the foster care system without a permanent family. For every adoption of a young child, several older children are still waiting. This is not because they are any less deserving of love, but often due to common misconceptions.

Misconceptions:

“They come with too much baggage.”
Every child has a history, of course. But older children are often resilient and self-aware. They can actively participate in the adoption process, communicate their needs, and share their unique interests with you.

“I won’t get to experience their ‘firsts’.”
You may not get to see their first steps or hear their first words. BUT you get to experience new, meaningful “firsts”: like the first time they feel truly safe, getting their driver’s license, their high school graduation, or the first time they call you “Dad” or “Mom” because they choose to.

“It’s too late to bond.”
Attachment is a lifelong process. Older children crave and respond to consistency and unconditional love. You have the opportunity to build a deep, meaningful relationship based on mutual understanding and trust.

The Need and Why Your Home Matters

By choosing to adopt a sibling group or an older child, you are not simply “saving” a child; you are completing a family and impacting a life that is actively unfolding.

Stop the Clock: You give a child a legal, permanent family before they turn 18 and face the challenges that often accompany “aging out” of care (homelessness, unemployment, lack of support).

Provide Identity and Belonging: An older child or sibling group needs a stable foundation to build their adult lives upon! You can offer them an identity as a permanent member of a family, not just a temporary “resident” in a system.

Your Experience is Valuable: Older children often benefit from parents who are already experienced in parenting or have a solid network of support. Your maturity, patience, and life experience are powerful! 

If you are ready to look beyond a nursery, to embrace a child or children with personality, a story, and a powerful need for a forever family, please reach out to Jessica Lunneman with Crossnore Communities for Children at (336) 283-1652.